So, we were all super excited and nervous about court on wednesday. Well, it looks like the wait will be even longer. Ugh. I talked to my attorney on the phone today, and the hearing will be postponed for at least a month. I'm furious! I won't know the actual date until next wed. I won't have to go to court that day, but my attorney will go in my place. I guess he is going to ask the judge to simply send her home since it's been 9 months. I have also done all that's been asked of me.
I also don't think that I had updated that we found a neurologist to testify on my behalf. He is in the process of going through all of the medical records for me. That's part of the delay in the trial.
I'm super sad, but am trying to remain optimistic. Maybe she'll be home we'd, but I won't hold my breath. I just hope and pray she makes it home in time for her first birthday.
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Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Monday, June 6, 2011
Exceeding expectations...
Today was a great day. The developmental and physical therapists from early intervention came to do baby beautiful's 9 month assessment. She amazed us all. In each category, she tested at or above her current age...testing as high as 11 months for cognitive development and movement. I was so proud if her. Then, after the EI folks left, she took her first steps!!! She stood up on her own and took two steps toward me!! She promptly fell on her face, and finished her journey by crawling to her mama.
Last weekend she began waving bye bye and clapping. She also reached for her bottle and said baba. It was so stinking cute.
Above all, I'm happy I was there to see her first steps. I was first to see it, and she was coming to me!
It is a bit bittersweet. My baby is growing up too quickly! I don't know where my itty bitty newborn went. I still cant believe she's been away from me for almost 8 months. I miss every moment that I'm not with her. :(
It's happy moments like her meeting milestones that helps me survive the moments where my heart is aching.
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Last weekend she began waving bye bye and clapping. She also reached for her bottle and said baba. It was so stinking cute.
Above all, I'm happy I was there to see her first steps. I was first to see it, and she was coming to me!
It is a bit bittersweet. My baby is growing up too quickly! I don't know where my itty bitty newborn went. I still cant believe she's been away from me for almost 8 months. I miss every moment that I'm not with her. :(
It's happy moments like her meeting milestones that helps me survive the moments where my heart is aching.
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Wednesday, May 18, 2011
At a snail's pace...
Our juvenile justice system simply moves at a snail's pace. That's all there is to it. I'm so incredibly frustrated today. I had a court date today. I new nothing would be accomplished, really. It was simply a hearing to set the date for my the adjudication hearing. That hearing is not until July 13! In our county, juvenile court only takes place every other Wednesday. The 13th of July was the next open date on the court calendar. That freaking stinks. They were so quick to steal her from me, but they are so slow to allow me the chance to prove myself innocent. Our system is so backward!
So, what exactly is an adjudication hearing? To the best of my knowledge, it is like a trial, but in juvenile court. Both sides have the opportunity to present witnesses and both sides can cross examine the witnesses. I'll have a chance to get on the stand in my own defense. At the conclusion of the hearing, the judge makes a ruling. She can say one of four things.
1. DCFS was wrong to take my baby, and will return her immediately
2. DCFS was right to take her, but she has been gone long enough, and send her home that day.
3. DCFS was right to take her and give my caseworker discussion in returning her home.
4. DCFS was right to take her and set another date further down the road to send her home.
Let's hope and pray for option #1!!! At this point, I'd settle for option #2. If the judge chooses option -#1, I can use that ruling in my appeal to DCFS to have this erroneous accusation removed from my file, so that I can once again work with kids.
So, what's another 2 months??? Ugh.
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So, what exactly is an adjudication hearing? To the best of my knowledge, it is like a trial, but in juvenile court. Both sides have the opportunity to present witnesses and both sides can cross examine the witnesses. I'll have a chance to get on the stand in my own defense. At the conclusion of the hearing, the judge makes a ruling. She can say one of four things.
1. DCFS was wrong to take my baby, and will return her immediately
2. DCFS was right to take her, but she has been gone long enough, and send her home that day.
3. DCFS was right to take her and give my caseworker discussion in returning her home.
4. DCFS was right to take her and set another date further down the road to send her home.
Let's hope and pray for option #1!!! At this point, I'd settle for option #2. If the judge chooses option -#1, I can use that ruling in my appeal to DCFS to have this erroneous accusation removed from my file, so that I can once again work with kids.
So, what's another 2 months??? Ugh.
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Sunday, May 8, 2011
Mother's Day
Today was my first official mother's day. It has been filled with a mixture of emotions. This morning, I was feeling sorry for myself. It just isn't fair that on my first mother's day, my daughter woke up in a different house than me. Nothing related to this situation is fair. So, I had a pity party.
But, then I saw my daughter. She was so cheerful this morning. She lept toward me as soon as she saw me. Then, she must have known I needed a big pick me up. After church, we were in the basement during coffee hour. Baby Beautiful was playing on the floor. She started to crawl toward the stairs. I wasn't too worried, since 8 month olds aren't supposed to be able to crawl up the stairs. Well, she did it! I stood right behind her so she wouldn't fall, and she climbed up about 8 steps! Holy cats! It took about 10 min for her to do it...and she was so proud of herself! I caught the last 3 steps on video on my phone. I'm such a proud mommie!
The rest of the day was great! I was able to celebrate with my family, including my grandma...my beautiful daughter's namesake! we had a great dinner and had fun at the park. She partied hard...and was sound asleep by 7pm.
I'm a bit sad again, but I will be able to cherish the memories of this day with baby Beautiful forever!
Oh, and at the advise of someone who commented on my blog, I'll be referring to my daughter as Baby Beautiful from now on instead of baby xxx. She is too beautiful to be called xxx!
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But, then I saw my daughter. She was so cheerful this morning. She lept toward me as soon as she saw me. Then, she must have known I needed a big pick me up. After church, we were in the basement during coffee hour. Baby Beautiful was playing on the floor. She started to crawl toward the stairs. I wasn't too worried, since 8 month olds aren't supposed to be able to crawl up the stairs. Well, she did it! I stood right behind her so she wouldn't fall, and she climbed up about 8 steps! Holy cats! It took about 10 min for her to do it...and she was so proud of herself! I caught the last 3 steps on video on my phone. I'm such a proud mommie!
The rest of the day was great! I was able to celebrate with my family, including my grandma...my beautiful daughter's namesake! we had a great dinner and had fun at the park. She partied hard...and was sound asleep by 7pm.
I'm a bit sad again, but I will be able to cherish the memories of this day with baby Beautiful forever!
Oh, and at the advise of someone who commented on my blog, I'll be referring to my daughter as Baby Beautiful from now on instead of baby xxx. She is too beautiful to be called xxx!
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Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Changes to the site...
So, you may have noticed that there are no more pictures on this page. My attorney called to tell me that the DCFS attorney's are pissed off that I have a website about my daughter up. Apparantly, they have a policy that kids that are in "the system" cannot have their images or likeness posted on the internet. So, I was told that I have to take the page down. Instead of simply removing the blog, because I think it is important for people to know about the injustice that happens so frequently, I have taken down all pictures of my daughter. Additionally, I have edited every blog post to take out her name. You will notice lots of XXXs in the blog from now on. That is in place of my beautiful little girl's name. I think this is ridiculous. She is still my daughter. I believe that i have the right to post her pictures and tell my own story. BUT, the state of Illinois feels it is necessary to strip me of all of my rights. I thought there was a 1st ammendment to the constitution, I guess I was wrong.
I also went through and deleted all comments. Many people mentioned her name, so I went ahead and deleted them, so I can't get in trouble for that. UGH!
There isn't anything new to report on the case, really. I spoke with my attorney, and he is in the process of getting our adjudication hearing scheduled. Basically, this is a trial in front of a local judge. She can either say "send XXX home, this is absurd" or she can uphold DCFS's decision to remove her. Even if she upholds the decision to remove her (known as adjudication), she will most likely leave it up to my caseworker to determine when XXX can come home. Let's just get this ball rolling. The past 7 months have been a nightmare, and it is time for me and my entire family to wake up from it!
I also went through and deleted all comments. Many people mentioned her name, so I went ahead and deleted them, so I can't get in trouble for that. UGH!
There isn't anything new to report on the case, really. I spoke with my attorney, and he is in the process of getting our adjudication hearing scheduled. Basically, this is a trial in front of a local judge. She can either say "send XXX home, this is absurd" or she can uphold DCFS's decision to remove her. Even if she upholds the decision to remove her (known as adjudication), she will most likely leave it up to my caseworker to determine when XXX can come home. Let's just get this ball rolling. The past 7 months have been a nightmare, and it is time for me and my entire family to wake up from it!
Saturday, April 23, 2011
I'm one proud mamma!
Through all of this nonsense, I keep reminding myself that I am still XXX's mommie! I always will be. I watch her grow and develop daily, and it amazes me. My beautiful daughter is, well, perfect! I love her so much.
This week, she learned something new...she started to crawl! Last Monday was the first time she did it. Last night, I managed to catch it on camera. I thought I'd share my proud mamma moment with you. By the way...how many "shaken babies" are able to crawl at 7 months???? Yeah, I didn't think so! Anyway, here's my princess crawling!!
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This week, she learned something new...she started to crawl! Last Monday was the first time she did it. Last night, I managed to catch it on camera. I thought I'd share my proud mamma moment with you. By the way...how many "shaken babies" are able to crawl at 7 months???? Yeah, I didn't think so! Anyway, here's my princess crawling!!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Monday, April 18, 2011
It could always be worse...
So, I'm having a really rough day. I'm trying to hold it together, with marginal success. I'm searching for the positive in the situation. Here's what I've come up with...
It could be worse!
It could be worse...if XXX had been placed in a regular foster home, I would only get to see her once a week for two hours. As it is, I see her every day. If I'm not at work, I'm with my baby. I stay until she goes to bed at night. I kiss her before bed and rock her to sleep. I see her smiles and hear her giggles daily.
It could be worse... I still make all parenting decisions. I decided when to start solids, which order to try them in, etc. I decide as much as possible. My parents allow me to do this, yet they don't have to. They made sure I was the first to take her to the park, first to give her a bite of real food, and first to put her in the big girl bath tub.
It could be worse... She could have lasting neurological deficits from her seizures or birth trauma, but she doesn't! She's smart as a whip and exceeding all developmental milestones. She is seizure free. She's healthy and happy.
It could be worse... 4 years ago, my brother and sister in law experienced a loss like no other. My beautiful nephew, Hunter, went to Heaven. He was only 5 months old, when he died from SIDS. Fred and Angie can never snuggle with their baby again. They missed so many milestones. I get to snuggle with XXX tonight. I will see all of her milestones and plan her birthday parties.
Life could be so much worse. Until XXX is home, I am going to try really hard to focus on the positives...and I'll cover my baby girl in lots and lots of kisses!
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It could be worse!
It could be worse...if XXX had been placed in a regular foster home, I would only get to see her once a week for two hours. As it is, I see her every day. If I'm not at work, I'm with my baby. I stay until she goes to bed at night. I kiss her before bed and rock her to sleep. I see her smiles and hear her giggles daily.
It could be worse... I still make all parenting decisions. I decided when to start solids, which order to try them in, etc. I decide as much as possible. My parents allow me to do this, yet they don't have to. They made sure I was the first to take her to the park, first to give her a bite of real food, and first to put her in the big girl bath tub.
It could be worse... She could have lasting neurological deficits from her seizures or birth trauma, but she doesn't! She's smart as a whip and exceeding all developmental milestones. She is seizure free. She's healthy and happy.
It could be worse... 4 years ago, my brother and sister in law experienced a loss like no other. My beautiful nephew, Hunter, went to Heaven. He was only 5 months old, when he died from SIDS. Fred and Angie can never snuggle with their baby again. They missed so many milestones. I get to snuggle with XXX tonight. I will see all of her milestones and plan her birthday parties.
Life could be so much worse. Until XXX is home, I am going to try really hard to focus on the positives...and I'll cover my baby girl in lots and lots of kisses!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
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