Monday, March 28, 2011

How have I survived?

So, many people have asked me how I have survived this ordeal. The answer is simple...I have no choice! Others have told me that if it was them, they'd have gone postal...or taken the baby and ran...or something...but I can't. None of that will ever help to get my baby home. For now, I have to jump through the hoops. I meet with the caseworkers, psychologists, social workers...and whoever else they through my way. I never stop telling them that I didn't hurt my baby girl. I never will stop telling them this.

My family has been such an amazing support. They have listened to my fears. They have cried with me...hugged me...and assured me that all would be ok. My father and step mother have bent over backwards to keep me as XXX's mom. He let's me make all decisions...and makes sure that I do all of the firsts...first bath in a big tub...first bite of solid food...first trip to the park. That means so much. My mom has allowed me to move in to her home. She has been amazing. Everyone allows me to share my frustrations and vent about my fears. They have helped me in ways I cannot describe.

My friends have been amazing...they do what they can to cheer me up and let me know that they are there rooting for me and standing on the sidelines. They are amazing.

God is a big piece of my life, as well. It has been tough. My faith has been challenged repeatedly. But I am trying to keep in faith. XXX and I go to church with my dad every Sunday. We pray and ask God to bring her home. I'm certain that someday he will!

And...I can't forget my WTE family!!!! OMG, they are amazing! As soon as I found out that I was pregnant, I began to frequent the message boards. My fellow Sept mommies (Even though XXX was born in Aug, she was due in Sept) have helped me from the beginning. I first posted about her seizures and then posted when she was stolen from my arms. Their continued support has helped me to survive. They initiated a fundraiser to help with legal fees. They declared last Friday to beXXX Day...and posted pictures of their kids with signs and tshirts that say "team XXX" on them. They lit candles all week and took pictures. They are freaking amazing! They have been my sounding board. They allow me to vent my frustrations and then they kick walls for me when I'm not able! They support me and cry with me. I will never be able to repay them for their kindness. Here are some pictures that were posted last Friday...

I'm sure I missed a few...there were so many...these are just from fb alone! There were so many on the website, too...but I'm having trouble finding the threads right now. But...the point fabulous WTE ladies...I <3 you and all you have done for XXX and I!!!

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