So, I'm having a really rough day. I'm trying to hold it together, with marginal success. I'm searching for the positive in the situation. Here's what I've come up with...
It could be worse!
It could be worse...if XXX had been placed in a regular foster home, I would only get to see her once a week for two hours. As it is, I see her every day. If I'm not at work, I'm with my baby. I stay until she goes to bed at night. I kiss her before bed and rock her to sleep. I see her smiles and hear her giggles daily.
It could be worse... I still make all parenting decisions. I decided when to start solids, which order to try them in, etc. I decide as much as possible. My parents allow me to do this, yet they don't have to. They made sure I was the first to take her to the park, first to give her a bite of real food, and first to put her in the big girl bath tub.
It could be worse... She could have lasting neurological deficits from her seizures or birth trauma, but she doesn't! She's smart as a whip and exceeding all developmental milestones. She is seizure free. She's healthy and happy.
It could be worse... 4 years ago, my brother and sister in law experienced a loss like no other. My beautiful nephew, Hunter, went to Heaven. He was only 5 months old, when he died from SIDS. Fred and Angie can never snuggle with their baby again. They missed so many milestones. I get to snuggle with XXX tonight. I will see all of her milestones and plan her birthday parties.
Life could be so much worse. Until XXX is home, I am going to try really hard to focus on the positives...and I'll cover my baby girl in lots and lots of kisses!
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